OK! OK! Stop all da bloody yellin and screamin. I ken dis nae a subject oft addressed by us warrior types, but consider dis afore ye flies offa da handle agin...

Ow else dis I master da art O bashin boxies wiout masterin da art O dealing wi traps and sich. I would nae hae been able ta buy enough deeds ta master Bashin had all I done was jest drop da boxie and begin ta bash away.

I learnt many O me lessons on me own, but am willin ta share em in da hopes dat it saves a few lives. I will describe da trap as ye would see it on da box, den tell ye what happens when ye succesfully disarm it. I tink, jest ta gi ye an idea O what ye oop agin, I will describe what da dern tings do to ye if ye mess em oop and sets one off. Mayhap dis will stop ye from attemptin tings beyond yer experience.

Finally, I will adds me own observations O tings aboot boxies I hae noticed, and tings dat nae everyone may know.

We start wit da baby traps and woiks our way oop ta da deadly new traps folk been finding in da lands....

POISONED NEEDLE TRAP

When ye look ye sees ......
"Hmmmm, you can see what appears to be a tiny hole next to the lock plate which doesn't seem to belong there. Looking closer you see a gleaming sliver of metal recessed in the hole."

When ye disarm it ye sees......
"You manage to block the tiny hole next to the lock plate."

If ye messes oop ye gi a shot O poison into yer system, how mooch O it I nae ken as I hea niver set one O dese off. Me rogue friends tell me ye kin pick past em wiout disarming em. If yer a basher, tis totally safe ta bash yer way past dis trap. >BLOODY JAWS TRAP # 1

When ye look ye sees......
"You see a pair of bloody jaws clamped tightly before the lock plate on the box."

When ye disarm it ye sees......
"Using the end of a twig you found lying around, you manage to pop out the two pins that hold the upper and lower jaw pieces together."

If ye messes oop, ye loses da hand, hae an empath handy (pun intended) jest in case. DA poor wee rogues hae da disarm dis trap afore dey kin pick it, but agin, dis trap kin be safely by-passed by a basher.

BLOODY JAWS TRAP # 2

When ye looks, ye sees......
"You notice a discolored oval ring around the outside of the box which makes you suspicious. Your suspicions are confirmed when you look inside the keyhole and notice the spring loaded jaws pressed flush against the box walls."

When ye disarm it ye sees......
"Using the end of a twig you found lying around, you manage to pop out the two pins that hold the upper and lower jaw pieces together."

If ye messes oop, ye loses da hand, hae an empath handy (pun intended) jest in case. DA poor wee rogues hae da disarm dis trap afore dey kin pick it, but agin, dis trap kin be safely by-passed by a basher.

SPRING TRAP

When ye looks ye sees......
"After carefully examining the lock, you move on to the hinges of the box. Just as you were about to pass the box off as safe, you notice what appears to be the ends of springs incorporated with the hinges. Seems rather odd to have a box designed to spring open when it is unlocked."

When ye disarm it ye sees......
"With a little force applied to the springs you manage to pop them inside of the box."

If ye messes oop be prepared to catch a bucketfull O acid catapulted by da boxie inta yer face. Da good news is da boxie is now open, da bad news bee ye need ta visit da empaths afore playin wit any more traps. Dis trap has ta be disarmed by rogue and basher alike.

FIRE CLOUD TRAP

When ye looks ye sees......
"Looking closely into the keyhole of the lock, you spy a small vial of fire red liquid and a tiny hammer device which seems poised to shatter it if the lock is tampered with."

When ye disarm it ye sees......
"You manage to bent the weak metal of the hammer out of striking range of the vial."

If ye messes oop, ye sets off a gas cloud dat will rain doon fire on da entire room. Dis kin gi yer friends and folk around ye a wee bit oopset. Da rogues kin pick around dis trap, but bashin will always set it off so a basher must learn ta disarm it. Here be a hint fer dose wi poor skills disarmin yet. Disarm dis trap at any O da inn's tables and a breeze will blow da cloud away if ye goof oop.

GAS CLOUD TRAP

When ye looks ye sees......
"Looking closely into the keyhole of the lock, you spy a small vial of liquid and a tiny hammer device which seems poised to shatter if the lock is tampered with."

When ye disarm it ye sees......
"You manage to bent the weak metal of the hammer out of striking range of the vial."

If ye messes oop ye will set off a gas cloud dat will randomly attack folks in da room wit ye wi strokes O lightning, nae a good way ta make friends and influence people. Da rogues kin pick around dis trap, but bashin will always set it off so a basher must learn ta disarm it. Here be a hint fer dose wi poor skills disarmin yet. Disarm dis trap at any O da inn's tables and a breeze will blow da cloud away if ye goof oop.

DARK CRYSTAL TRAP

When ye looks ye sees......
"Looking closely into the keyhole of the lock you spy a small, dark crystal which seems imbedded in the locking mechanism. It looks as if opening the lock without the exact key should shatter it."

When ye disarm it ye sees......
"With a little ingenuity you manage to grind down parts of the lock mechanism so it won't come in contact with the crystal when you open it."

If ye messes oop da boxie and all dat be in da boxie will be swallered oop by a black void, niver ta be seen by dwarf nor beastie agin. Dis is nae a goos get rich quick program, and yer friends tends ta take a dim view O losin boxies. It always da boxie dat was supposed ta hae all O da magic in it dat jest disapeared as well..... Rogues kin pick around dis trap but bashers must be able ta disarm it as bashin loses ye da boxie.

GLYPH TRAP

When ye looks ye sees......
You notice some spider web like scratches on the lock plate which seem, after some bit of scrutiny, too organized to be just wear and tear...it might be some type of glyph spell."

When ye disarm it ye sees......
"Knowing how delicate magical glyphs can be, you scrape some extra lines into the markings hoping to alter their meaning and defeat the spell they may hold."

If ye messes oop ye and da boxie (if it in yer hands) is sucked into a time warp. If dis happenes to ye jest keep movin in one direction till ye pops oot. Meself, I prefer up. Dis trap will reset itself each time it set off when ye trin ta disarm it, so ye kin spend a lot O time in da rift. It kin nae be picked around by rogues, but must be disarmed. A hint fer da basher be dis, After one good bash da glyph is so damaged dat it will nae go off agin. Only do dis where friends kin watch da box till ye returns.

BOOMER TRAP

When ye looks ye sees......
"Carefully you feel around the lock and notice the inside chamber is coated with a strange white substance. From you experience you recognize this as a common magical/chemical detonation system for an explosive mixture that was used to treat the box."

When ye disarm it ye sees......
"A little mud has been dabbed on the connecting point of the striker arm and the white substance to prevent it from igniting the box when it is unlocked."

If ye messes oop ye hae a lot O folk a wee oopset wit ye. Once dey finishes pickin opp alla yer parts dat is. Settin off dis one make a glorious Boom, bright lights and e'en brighter blood fly all o'er da place. Tis good form fer da picker dat sets disun off ta pay da shot fer da healin O all da others he hurt along wit himself.

RODS TRAP

When ye looks ye sees......
"Looking closely into the keyhole, you notice a pair of small rods a hair's width from touching each other. Peering around inside of the keyhole, you can see the lock would push the two rods together should the lock be tampered with."

When ye disarm it ye sees......
"With great care you manage to nudge the sensitive rods out of alignment. It looks as though they can not be pressed together by the lock mechanism any more."

If ye messes oop on dis ye takes a heck of a shot of electricity to a random spot on yer body. In da best case i hae taken a wee 6 points O damage wit no physical harm, in da worst I hae had electricity ridin me nevers like a circuit board till me brain o'erloaded and I died. Nae a pleasant way ta end oop. Rogues kin pick around dis trap wit care, Bashers must disarm it.

SCARAB TRAP

When ye looks ye sees......
"Peering closely into the lock you spy a miniature sky-blue (or sea-green) glaes scarab wedged into the lock mechanism. The scarabs surface is etched with tiny runes that seem to writhe as the light strikes them."

When ye disarm it ye sees......
"You carefully use the tip of your lock pick to nudge the scarab free of it's prison without disturbing the lock too much. The scarab fall from the lock onto the ground in front of you."

Dis is da first O da nast new ones. If ye messes opp or ye touches da scarab afore it has been disarmed, ye will set it ta life and it will burrow inta yer neck, either causin ye ta be poisoned or diseased at da rate O 50 per round and a dread wound only dissipating at 1 per round. If ye kin nae find help quick ye be a gone goose. Rogues hae ta disarm dis trap, it kin nae be picked around. Bashers kin safely bash past it however.

ACID TRAP

When ye looks ye sees......
'Peering closely into the lock, you spy a tiny vial placed just past the tumblers of the lock mechanism. It would appear that any tampering with the lock mechanism would cause the tumblers to crush the vial and release whatever substance is inside."

When ye disarm it ye sees......
"You carefully push a small ball of cotton into the lock mechanism, surrounding and protecting the small vial from anything that may shatter it."

If ye mess oop dis trap will eat da rogues lock pick and fuse da locking mechanism so dat only a basher kin open it. A hae been told dat it kin be picked past successfully, but e'en if ye open da boxie, a rouge loses his pick to da trap anyways. A basher dat sees dis trap kin bash past it wi out any harm to da trap, lock, or his bashin tool. Also, once da lock fused, bashin is da only way ta open da boxie. Be forewarned dat fused boxies be 3-5X tougher dan da unfused ones. Here be a hint fer bashers, if ye hae field reps O tough boxies, fuse dese locks wi common lock picks ye finds lying aboot, ye gi yer reps done faster.

And last, but by NO means LEAST, da granddaddy O em all, da worst O da lot, da most difficult and most painful O da traps in da lands, I gi ta ye da.........

SULPHUR TRAP

When ye looks ye sees......
"Feeling around the inside of the lock, you notice the casing is coated with a rough, grainy substance. You lean forward and peer between the walls of the casing. Examining the lock closely, you notice a small bladder filled with a strange liquid wedged between the tumblers. With your face this close to the lock, you pick up the faintest scent of sulphur."

When ye disarm it ye sees......
"You carefully use the tip of your dagger to scrape away the rough, grainy substance which lines the walls of the casing. After a few moments, you feel comfortable with the small section you have cleaned. You take out a thin needle and carefully slide it between the walls of the casing, taking great care not to touch them. As the tip of the needle punctures the small bladder, a strange clear gel oozes forth from the hole. The gel gives off a strong odor of sulphur. As the air hits the gel, it begins to harden and turn to dust, blowing away in the wind as if it never existed."

Dis one so painful when ye mess it oop I hae included da description O yer death as ye will see it. Yer friends will see ye collapse in on yerself in flames, every part O ye on fire till finally yer eyeballs boil den explode all o'er em! Talk aboot lookin oot fer yer friends! Dis be what it look like from yer point O view.......

"As your lock pick slides past the walls of the lock casing it rubs against a rough, grainy substance that coats them and gives off a small spark. Just as the spark comes to life a strong scent of sulphur reaches your nostrils. You have just enough time to gasp in shock, as the two volatile substances meet and ignite into a stream of fire which issues forth from the lock! Your body is savagely immolated by the flames."

Now ye ken what all dos "incinerated" messages mean. By da time dis trap is done yer friends kin sweep ye into a belt pouch and bring ye to da nearest senior empath. Every part O yer wee body bein burnt ta a crisp. Ye hae enough damage on ye ta gi a Laird or Lady empath enough experience ta gi dere next training. Dis da ultimate in WHUPS!

If ye wonderin how I ken dat last trap so well, I was unfortunate enough ta find it da afternoon da gods released it on da lands. Me poor eyes went all O'er Barble and Birdsongg, two good friends. I hae treated dis trap wit due respect e'er since.

Here be a few last notes on boxie opening. As ye all ken dere be new boxies as well. Two O dese kin nae be opened by magic, and must be either picked or bashed. Dese be any ENRUNED boxie, and any MITHRIL boxie.